What Do You Do With An Empty Cup?

Advice these days is thrown around like candy at a parade. Sometimes, it can be difficult to distinguish the good advice from the bad advice. Imagine you and one of your friends were in conversation one morning, over coffee, and they came at you with advice like this.

“So I’m going to try out this cool new idea where I just drink water on Monday’s. I figure I can save tons of time during the week if I only drink water on Monday’s. I’m going to try to cram in enough water on that one day so I don’t have to drink for the whole rest of the week! I think it’s going to end up working out really well for me! You should totally join me! You’ll end up saving so much time when you don’t have to be drinking water every single day!”

I’m going to go ahead and assume that you would look at them like they were completely insane and let them know that they won’t make it long on the idea that they only need to drink water once a week. You would more than likely tell your friend that choosing to drink water once a week, instead of every single day, was a good way to die. As humans, there is no getting around the fact that we need to be consuming water to survive.

How about we change the conversation around to go something like this:

“So I’m going to try out this cool new idea where I just meet with God on Sunday’s. I figure I can save tons of time during the week if I only meet with Him on Sunday morning. I’m going to try and cram in enough time with Him on Sunday so I don’t have to spend any time with Him for the rest of the week! I think it’s going to end up working out really well for me! You should totally join me! You’ll end up saving so much time when you don’t have to be meeting with God every single day!”

I’m think it's safe to say that not one single Jesus follower is going to ever utter these words because we probably don’t even register that we are thinking this way. But, the truth is that MANY MANY Christians are living with this mindset, whether we are willing to admit it or not. I know, because I WAS one of them for a long long time.

If we dared admit the truth, would we approach it in the same way we would as if someone told us to only drink water once a week? We know we can’t survive long without physical water so why are we living like we can survive and embrace life in the way God intended when we are only meeting with Him once a week? We live convinced that our once-a-week drinking of His life giving waters is enough to get us through the next week, not only surviving, but thriving.

I lived this way for a really long time before I realized I was severely spiritually dehydrated. I was expecting my once a week church going self to be able to serve joyfully and patiently as I went about the mundane tasks of the home and raising babies.  And honestly, just because I was sitting in church, did NOT mean that I was actually getting anything out of it to apply to my life. For the past six and a half years, I have usually had to deal with a baby or toddler during the service and so to say that I was actually paying close enough attention to what was being taught is a very large assumption. Half of the time, I was walking a fussy baby or chasing an unruly toddler through the halls, so I was missing EVERYTHING. And for some reason, I was still convincing myself, “I’m good! I go to church! I know Jesus,” yet my attitude and actions said anything but that.

My attitude and actions were a symptom of my lack of drinking up the life giving waters that God offers through Jesus. Just like when we are physically dehydrated, our bodies give us signs, our actions and attitudes can be a huge indication that we are spiritually dehydrated. Instead of serving my family with a heart like Jesus, I was annoyed that I had to be the one to deal with the constant fighting, the four thousand messes a day, and the never ending pile of dishes in the sink. I was in a constant state of irritation and had a bad attitude every evening when Rem would come home from work. I would think to myself, “ What am I doing wrong? There is literally nowhere else I would rather be than here. Why am I not enjoying this like I feel I should?”

Why couldn’t I serve my family with a joyful attitude, while doing things I didn’t really find to be very fun? Why did every wrong my children committed irritate me to the core? Why did my kids’ bad attitudes instantly turn my attitude bad too? Simple. I wasn’t starting my day in the way God designed. I wasn’t being filled with His truth about how I should be serving and what my goals as a mother really were.

Imagine trying to run a race…let’s say a marathon. You wake up that morning, ready to race and decide that you’ll be just fine if you don’t drink any water. You’re feeling a little thirsty, but convince yourself that it’s all in your head. You give yourself a pep talk that you’ve got what it takes to not only run this race, but to do it well. You start the race and feel all right for the first two miles. You notice your thirst, but you hang in there. Mile six comes and you’re body is yelling at you to get some water in. You ignore it and by mile ten, you can feel your body start to shut down. All you can think about is how thirsty you are and how you don’t know how you’re even going to make it through the next mile, let alone the entire race. Mile twelve comes and YOU.ARE.DONE. You see a station coming up that has volunteers handing out bananas and cups of water and you know you NEED water, your body is sending signals that YOU NEED WATER, and so you grab the banana. I mean, a banana is just as good for your body as water right? So you chow down on that sweet sweet banana and the only thing you feel is the desire for water. Your thirst hasn’t been quenched and you are painfully trying to make it to the next volunteer station to get some water. By now, you are barely hobbling along, but make it to the next station. There is NO WAY you are walking away now without water. You are weak and can barely stand so you decide to sit and rest while you FINALLY drink some water. You drink your water and wait for it to bring life to your weary body. Maybe you’ll be sitting there for ten more minutes, maybe for another hour. But, you know that there is no way you’re going to make it to the end of the race without this stop and several more stops along the way for another drink. You think to yourself, “Why in the world was I so convinced that I was going to be able to make it to the end of this race and perform well without first giving my body what it needed?”

How many of us momma’s are gearing up for the race of the day ahead and convincing ourselves that we’re good to go without first starting in the Word? We’re like the runner who thinks we’re going to be just fine without first giving our body (soul) what it needs to perform to the best of its abilities. We’re shocked and disheartened when, day after miserable day, we are just trying to make it to bedtime. I was SO there. And it wasn’t a fun place to be. I loved my kids with my entire heart but usually by ten a.m., I was about to pull my hair out trying to keep up with all the household chores, teaching homeschool lessons, and dealing with my kids’ bad attitudes. Their bad attitudes quickly turned into a bad attitude from me and by supper time, we were in meltdown city……all of us.

I was trying to tackle the hardest job I’ve ever done. The one, designed by God, specifically for me, without hearing from His Word before I set about the task. Surely, just wanting to do a good job would be enough, right?  I sure thought so. But, I was sadly mistaken.

Finally, sometime after Ellie was born, something changed.  I realized that I could either face each day, knowing that it was going to be as challenging as the last, and let those challenges weigh me down, or I could figure out just how I was supposed to face this calling, in the way God intended me to. I didn’t know where to start, but I knew I had to start somewhere.

I didn’t even set out with a goal of “I’m going to make sure I get some kind of Bible reading or devotional done this morning.”  Usually, really big goals like that, that have to be done every day, intimidate me, and when I don’t fulfill them immediately, I just quit. So I ordered some studies with the thought in mind that I would try and read a couple times a week, whenever I could steal a little time away. That went well and I was actually gaining some wisdom that I could apply! The more I learned about the character of God and how I could apply His teachings to my life, specifically in my role as “momma,” the more I wanted to learn.

The heart change didn’t come instantly. It’s not like I went from “yelling mom” to “not yelling mom” overnight (I still am not “not yelling mom,” I’m just “less yelling mom.” But, less is moving in the right direction). I didn’t suddenly have an intense feeling of joy when I saw a sink full of dishes and a room scattered with toys, but those things didn’t instantly send me over the edge with dread either. And the more time I spent being filled with the life giving water only He can give, the more I was able to pour out to my family in the way I desired. I’ve seen this truth over and over again. Soon, I realized that I would have a much better day if I were in the Word first. As a mom, my cup is empty pretty often because I’m pouring out ALL.DAY.LONG. Of course my day would go better coming first to the true source of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Why was I convinced, for so long, that just wanting to be a “good” mom was enough?

In John 4:1-15 we can find the answer for our longing hearts.

4 When Jesus^[a] learned that the Pharisees had heard he was making and baptizing more disciples than John ² (though Jesus himself was not baptizing, but his disciples were), ³ he left Judea and went again to Galilee. ⁴ He had to travel through Samaria; ⁵ so he came to a town of Samaria called Sychar near the property^[b] that Jacob had given his son Joseph. ⁶ Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, worn out from his journey, sat down at the well. It was about noon.^[c]

⁷ A woman of Samaria came to draw water.

“Give me a drink,” Jesus said to her, ⁸ because his disciples had gone into town to buy food.

⁹ “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?” she asked him. For Jews do not associate with^[d] Samaritans.^[e]

¹⁰ Jesus answered, “If you knew the gift of God, and who is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would ask him, and he would give you living water.”

¹¹ “Sir,” said the woman, “you don’t even have a bucket, and the well is deep. So where do you get this ‘living water’? ¹² You aren’t greater than our father Jacob,are you? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and livestock.”

¹³ Jesus said, “Everyone who drinks from this water will get thirsty again. ¹⁴ But whoever drinks from the water that I will give him will never get thirsty again. In fact, the water I will give him will become a well^[f] of water springing up in him for eternal life.”

¹⁵ “Sir,” the woman said to him, “give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and come here to draw water.”

My soul was thirsty for something.  But, what was it? More “me time,” better attitudes from my kids, less messes to clean? I mean, all those things are great but they are never going to satisfy my soul like knowing Jesus will. I was like the runner in the illustration I shared earlier who expected the banana to quench their thirst. In this passage from John, Jesus clearly explains that the only way to quench the thirst of our weary souls once and for all is to “drink of His life giving waters.” But, how exactly do we do that?

We must first be willing to bring our cup to be filled. That means bringing ourselves before His throne, ready to be filled with His truth.  The best way to do that is by opening the Word and hearing the truth, straight from the source. Whether you are reading the Bible on its own or in conjunction with a devotional study, just opening it up and setting your heart on the truth you read will go a long way in aligning your heart and attitude with His will for your day. In His Word, I have found truth about what it means to serve with a joyful heart, where to turn in times of trial, and what the single most important thing for me, as a mother, is (hint: it’s not having a spotless house and children who don’t argue).

We cannot expect to serve well, in joy and patience, when we aren’t first being filled with those things. And, as a momma, I need the reminder DAILY. I have to treat God’s Word and being in relationship with Him in the same way that I view drinking water. Physical water is essential for the life of my body, God’s life giving water is essential for my soul.

Momma, are you thirsty? Worn out, tired, and overly anxious? Don’t know how you’ll make it through another day, another hour, another minute? Start by coming every single day to the source of life, and when you feel thirsty, bring your empty cup and be filled again. Sometimes I’m thirsty four hundred times a day and having a well to draw from (the truth I was filled with before my day began) is essential to my survival. When my children are testing my patience, instead of immediately losing it, I can see this as an opportunity to teach them kindness and self-control. Instead of serving with a selfish heart, I know the truth that not even Jesus came to be served, but to serve. Filling my mind with the truth makes it much easier to combat those yucky feelings of being miserable just because this momma gig is hard. It’s going to be hard because it’s meant to make me more like Jesus. Serving, day in and day out. Being the hands and feet and voice of Jesus to my children isn’t something that comes naturally to me. If it were, I wouldn’t need Jesus and well……that’s kind of the whole point. We need Jesus, so he’s going to give us opportunities to feel empty, so that we can be filled with the true source of life……HIM.

It can be overwhelming knowing where to even begin in spending time in the Word. You may feel like you don’t have a second to spare in your busy day. But, I’m telling you from experience, that you can’t afford NOT to be spending time in the Word, every day. I will be sharing some of my favorite resources for “filling my cup” with the goodness of God. I understand that everyone has different life circumstances so what works for me, may not be a perfect fit for you, so take my suggestions as just that. Suggestions. Maybe they will work for you, maybe they won’t. But my hope is that something I share may stir your heart to be in the Word, every day. Knowing that without it, you can’t make it through this “race” of motherhood, at least not without hobbling to the finish. I was done barely making it through the days. I needed to be refreshed with the Word of God, His truth, and His teachings. This wasn’t a “one and done” thing either. It’s something that should become as essential as drinking water. The more I grow in relationship with God and drink of His goodness, the less I feel like I’m barely hanging on. He’s proven to be a firm anchor for my soul. I pray you will find the same to be true for you!

I encourage you to pull out your Bible and look up Psalm 63:1-2 and Isaiah 58:11 to see how God is life giving water to our souls. When we come to Him, we no longer have to thirst. Drink up, momma!